It happens just like that. Like when a cloud blocks the sun on a spring afternoon. One moment you're bathed in warm light staring at the blue sky and then, gray.
Nothing has changed. No sudden shift in the sweeping orbit of the earth but still the subtle chill is enough to bring on a quiet sadness as though the sun will never return.
No storm has burst, no thunder tears the sky, but still, it feels as though a little rain has fallen.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Oh sweet Pete!
I just got home from school. As usual, I have sat down, kicked my feet up, and am relaxing while the stupefying waves of television entertainment wash over me.
There isn’t much on tv at 4:30. There are always Law & Order re-runs, game shows, and the pinnacle of modern entertainment… Judge Judy. Normally I watch just enough of Judge Judy’s program to make myself feel better by watching the train wreck of other people’s lives. I am constantly reminded that my life could be worse.
Anyway… Today I saw two people who have sunken farther than I could have ever thought possible. Two parties were disputing damages from a drunken altercation. Apparently they both had a little too much to drink, one pushed the other, it escalated and eventually somebody ruined a $900 suit and somebody sprained a finger.
“A $900 suit?” you ask… Why yes… And what kind of person who can afford a $900 suit is on Judge Judy.
Attorneys! Two Attorneys!
Let me just lay this out here. If you are a member of the bar and you end up on Judge Judy, you have hit rock bottom. It is bad enough that two gainfully employed lawyers couldn’t quietly deal with the consequences of their embarrassing drunken episode, but how the hell did they get to Judge Judy’s court? The names of these two jokers have to be synonyms for “dumb-ass” and “moron” in their legal community.
I feel so much better about myself now… No matter how poorly my finals go, no matter how bad my first job out of school is, it can’t possibly get that bad.
There isn’t much on tv at 4:30. There are always Law & Order re-runs, game shows, and the pinnacle of modern entertainment… Judge Judy. Normally I watch just enough of Judge Judy’s program to make myself feel better by watching the train wreck of other people’s lives. I am constantly reminded that my life could be worse.
Anyway… Today I saw two people who have sunken farther than I could have ever thought possible. Two parties were disputing damages from a drunken altercation. Apparently they both had a little too much to drink, one pushed the other, it escalated and eventually somebody ruined a $900 suit and somebody sprained a finger.
“A $900 suit?” you ask… Why yes… And what kind of person who can afford a $900 suit is on Judge Judy.
Attorneys! Two Attorneys!
Let me just lay this out here. If you are a member of the bar and you end up on Judge Judy, you have hit rock bottom. It is bad enough that two gainfully employed lawyers couldn’t quietly deal with the consequences of their embarrassing drunken episode, but how the hell did they get to Judge Judy’s court? The names of these two jokers have to be synonyms for “dumb-ass” and “moron” in their legal community.
I feel so much better about myself now… No matter how poorly my finals go, no matter how bad my first job out of school is, it can’t possibly get that bad.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Apparently I am a Moron
Today I had more fun with a law professor than I have ever had.
It started innocently enough. We were having a conversation about the separation of church and state. I can't exactly say how it happened but the conversation devolved into an argument about how any reasonable person could possibly believe in Christ's resurrection, walking on water, raising people from the dead, or the emaculate conception.
According to my professor I am a brainwashed moron, incapable of rational thought. No reasonable person can possibly believe that Jesus was resurrected. No sane person could possibly believe in the emaculate conception.
This conversation occured in the lobby of the school. There were several observers who seemed a bit shocked at my professor's tone, volume, and vocabulary. There was a slight giggle when he said, "We should stop talking before I start to get insulting."
I don't really care about the argument. I was kind of having fun. I've spent years defending my belief in God against accusations of diminished mental capacity, dishonesty, and brainwashing. I was a pro at it for 2 years.
What really made me laugh is the degree to which the professor became animated in public. I like the guy. I really do. I just wonder how he could lack the common sense to hold off on that kind of talk until we were in the privacy of his office.
The faces of my classmates were priceless. I can't wait to see who sends an email of complaint to the Dean. I'll be the first to defend the professor but I will laugh out loud with him about being dumb enough to try to have a spirited conversation in a school where every little non PC comment is the subject of an inquisition.
For the record... I do believe in God... I don't know if I'm a moron or not but if I am... I'm ok with that.
It started innocently enough. We were having a conversation about the separation of church and state. I can't exactly say how it happened but the conversation devolved into an argument about how any reasonable person could possibly believe in Christ's resurrection, walking on water, raising people from the dead, or the emaculate conception.
According to my professor I am a brainwashed moron, incapable of rational thought. No reasonable person can possibly believe that Jesus was resurrected. No sane person could possibly believe in the emaculate conception.
This conversation occured in the lobby of the school. There were several observers who seemed a bit shocked at my professor's tone, volume, and vocabulary. There was a slight giggle when he said, "We should stop talking before I start to get insulting."
I don't really care about the argument. I was kind of having fun. I've spent years defending my belief in God against accusations of diminished mental capacity, dishonesty, and brainwashing. I was a pro at it for 2 years.
What really made me laugh is the degree to which the professor became animated in public. I like the guy. I really do. I just wonder how he could lack the common sense to hold off on that kind of talk until we were in the privacy of his office.
The faces of my classmates were priceless. I can't wait to see who sends an email of complaint to the Dean. I'll be the first to defend the professor but I will laugh out loud with him about being dumb enough to try to have a spirited conversation in a school where every little non PC comment is the subject of an inquisition.
For the record... I do believe in God... I don't know if I'm a moron or not but if I am... I'm ok with that.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Imus
I just don't know what to say about this whole Imus thing. I'm not an Imus fan; I've never heard his show. I'm just having a hard time with the whole thing.
Obviously calling a group of female athletes "nappy-headed hos" is just plain wrong but aren't we taking this a little too far? Seriously why is this a national issue?
There are so many things about this that bother me... I'm having a hard time articulating them.
Let me just say this... Who are all these sinners casting stones? This was an obvious case of somebody making as big a deal out of something as humanly possible.
Imus... You're a dumbass... Everybody else... you too.
Obviously calling a group of female athletes "nappy-headed hos" is just plain wrong but aren't we taking this a little too far? Seriously why is this a national issue?
There are so many things about this that bother me... I'm having a hard time articulating them.
Let me just say this... Who are all these sinners casting stones? This was an obvious case of somebody making as big a deal out of something as humanly possible.
Imus... You're a dumbass... Everybody else... you too.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Breaking News...
This just in... I am "hilarious." While this may come as no surprise to some readers, there will be others for whom this is a shocking revelation. To those of you who may be concerned or confused, rest assured that this is a matter that will be closely monitored.
That is all...
Update:
Sources close to me have reported that earlier statments about my hilarity were not true. Members of my house are claiming the confusion was due to the recent implimentation of the sarcasm system.
Reports are now incoming that I am "kind of a jerk" as originally expected.
I will continue to follow this and update as information becomes available.
Continuing Update:
Sources within my home are now reporting that negotiations have come to a standstill. It is not known how long the standoff will continue but experts believe the lion's share of the problems can be attributed to "blogging" that has been going on throughout the talks.
It is not known how this situation will be resolved or what possible consequences this may have with regard to upcoming conversations. Some believe that the greatest effects will be felt in talks over bugetary and reproductive issues.
That is all...
Update:
Sources close to me have reported that earlier statments about my hilarity were not true. Members of my house are claiming the confusion was due to the recent implimentation of the sarcasm system.
Reports are now incoming that I am "kind of a jerk" as originally expected.
I will continue to follow this and update as information becomes available.
Continuing Update:
Sources within my home are now reporting that negotiations have come to a standstill. It is not known how long the standoff will continue but experts believe the lion's share of the problems can be attributed to "blogging" that has been going on throughout the talks.
It is not known how this situation will be resolved or what possible consequences this may have with regard to upcoming conversations. Some believe that the greatest effects will be felt in talks over bugetary and reproductive issues.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
If you think I'm the coolest, don't read this!
One of my favorite things about our law school is the overwhelming creativity and effort the students will devote to their causes. The stairwells are constantly bombarded with flyers inviting students to participate in some new activity to show support for an organization.
While I don't expect every club to re-invent the wheel for every fund raiser or statment of solicarity, I do expect a little more than this.
In order to show support for GLBT issues SODA has invited everyone to... get this... Wear jeans on April 18th. Give me a freakin' break! Jeans?
Why don't they just say, "Everybody take a shower on Wednesday." This is quite possiblly the dumbest idea I have ever heard.
This summer I think I will post flyers inviting everyone to wear sandals to show their support for me in my cause to become supreme overlord and ruler of the universe.
Or... I could just have a bake sale...
While I don't expect every club to re-invent the wheel for every fund raiser or statment of solicarity, I do expect a little more than this.
In order to show support for GLBT issues SODA has invited everyone to... get this... Wear jeans on April 18th. Give me a freakin' break! Jeans?
Why don't they just say, "Everybody take a shower on Wednesday." This is quite possiblly the dumbest idea I have ever heard.
This summer I think I will post flyers inviting everyone to wear sandals to show their support for me in my cause to become supreme overlord and ruler of the universe.
Or... I could just have a bake sale...
Monday, April 9, 2007
Yes... I shaved...
Do not be alarmed. All is well. The earth has not ceased to rotate and the Second Coming has not taken place. The exposure of my chin is not one of the foretold omens of the end of days. I just shaved.
I understand that this event may be shocking and life changing for some. Many of the people closest to me have never seen me without a beard and are struggling with the change. I ask you all to be patient and we will work through this together.
In order to help my dedicated fans with the transition I have compiled this list of suggestions.
1- Do not look directly at the chin. Staring at the chin can be distracting and may prevent you from accomplishing other important tasks.
2- Do not look directly at the 2nd (double) chin. There is no reason other than the reason listed above but I feel it is important to be redundant at least twice.
3- Do not tell me I have a baby face. As one friend commented, by removing my facial hair I have lost at least three "bad ass" points but do not be decieved. Mocking the new clean shaven me will still carry the same consequences as mocking the dirty old me.
4- Do not make out with me. For years my beard has provided a soft barrier preventing irritation to the face of those I kiss. Unfortunately, I have become re-acquainted with "beard burn." Apparently the stubble can cause sever irritation. What once was soft and hairy is now rough like sandpaper. I'm sorry.
5- Do not tell me you think I look "so much better." I don't like my face without a beard. If I did I would have shaved years ago. I don't care what you think. If I did I would never have gotten this fat.
6- Do not touch my face. Much like the delicate forrest floor my chin is not used to being exposed to the elements without a protective canopy.
7- Look at my eyes. I have been told that my eyes have remained the same despite various dramatic changes in my appearance. Many of my high school classmates have learned that I can still be recognized (even after gaining 100 lbs) if you focus on my eyes.
8- Look for old photographs. It has come to my attention that there some photographs were taken in the brief period before I started growing a beard and after I had gained weight. Viewing these photos may help you to gradually become more comfortable with my appearance.
9- Look for support among friends. You may feel that you are alone in this time of trial. Fortunately, there are others suffering. There is strength in numbers. Form support groups and sponsor conversations to provide for group healing.
10- Seek professional help. In some situations change can be very traumatic and the assistance of a professional may be necessary to avoid severe depression or anxiety.
I hope these suggestions help.
I will keep you all in my prayers.
I understand that this event may be shocking and life changing for some. Many of the people closest to me have never seen me without a beard and are struggling with the change. I ask you all to be patient and we will work through this together.
In order to help my dedicated fans with the transition I have compiled this list of suggestions.
1- Do not look directly at the chin. Staring at the chin can be distracting and may prevent you from accomplishing other important tasks.
2- Do not look directly at the 2nd (double) chin. There is no reason other than the reason listed above but I feel it is important to be redundant at least twice.
3- Do not tell me I have a baby face. As one friend commented, by removing my facial hair I have lost at least three "bad ass" points but do not be decieved. Mocking the new clean shaven me will still carry the same consequences as mocking the dirty old me.
4- Do not make out with me. For years my beard has provided a soft barrier preventing irritation to the face of those I kiss. Unfortunately, I have become re-acquainted with "beard burn." Apparently the stubble can cause sever irritation. What once was soft and hairy is now rough like sandpaper. I'm sorry.
5- Do not tell me you think I look "so much better." I don't like my face without a beard. If I did I would have shaved years ago. I don't care what you think. If I did I would never have gotten this fat.
6- Do not touch my face. Much like the delicate forrest floor my chin is not used to being exposed to the elements without a protective canopy.
7- Look at my eyes. I have been told that my eyes have remained the same despite various dramatic changes in my appearance. Many of my high school classmates have learned that I can still be recognized (even after gaining 100 lbs) if you focus on my eyes.
8- Look for old photographs. It has come to my attention that there some photographs were taken in the brief period before I started growing a beard and after I had gained weight. Viewing these photos may help you to gradually become more comfortable with my appearance.
9- Look for support among friends. You may feel that you are alone in this time of trial. Fortunately, there are others suffering. There is strength in numbers. Form support groups and sponsor conversations to provide for group healing.
10- Seek professional help. In some situations change can be very traumatic and the assistance of a professional may be necessary to avoid severe depression or anxiety.
I hope these suggestions help.
I will keep you all in my prayers.
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